What with the writer's strike looking like it's going to continue on for a long time, I realized this is it for new scripted television for a while. In a couple of weeks, the shows airing now will have run out of scripts and America will be forced to watch, well-- actually, there's the
Sarah Conner Chronicles and
Jericho and I've been meaning to catch up on DVD's I have never opened and of course all of reality TV and the truth is, who really watches network television anyway?
But, that's not my point! My point is, with these last waning days of TV-as-usual, I thought it'd be nice to take a moment to be
thankful (how topical is this blog, right?) for our regularly scheduled programing. Let me count the ways:
- The dykey shrink on Bionic Woman. While everyone else around her engages in funny, sexy, scary B-action movie dialogue, she skulks around her office looking bored and probably imagining she was someplace else--making her the show's most relatable character. You don't want to go bionic, you just want to go home and fall asleep watching Jane Fonda workout tapes. Hey Lady, you're still not interesting enough to bother learning your name, but I thought the C-plot where you decided to get a plant for your office was genius.
- Journeyman's important work shedding light on time traveling addiction. See, there's this guy and he disappears on his family all the time. Sometimes he shows up with a gun and sometimes with money, and he's visiting his ex-girlfriend, which is weird since she's dead. But he tells his wife he's a time traveler and she starts enabling-- I mean, protecting him. Oh yeah, his brother drinks too much, his boss used to and he had a gambling addiction, which is actually a thinly veiled metaphor for being a time traveler. Whoa.
- The fact that Hiro on Heroes is finally out of feudal Japan. Oh, here's a great idea- take your show's most popular character and cut him off from the rest of the show for the first half of the season by making him act out a milquetoast version of Tale of the Genjii. Seriously, And now, a haiku: Tim, What did you do?/Cherry blossoms? C'mon dude!/ Boring, lame, don't care, Ack!
- Bringing Seussian narration back on Pushing Daises. First rule of screenwriting: Don't do narrator voice overs. Or as they say in Freshman Comp: Show, don't tell. But Pushing Daises is the show that says, "Who needs a rulebook when I've got cute on my side?" This show creeps me out like a teddy bear that just wants to hug and 'wuv' me all day long does. I hate it even more because when I tell people that I don't like it, they assume I'm some sort of monster incapable of getting 'a-dorable'. I get it. I'm just unimpressed.
- That Brothers & Sisters is Chicken Soup for the Liberal Soul. It doesn't take a genius to see that the only difference between Touched by and Angel and Brothers & Sisters is the demographic they target. Both shows happily reaffirm the world view of their respective audiences, wrapping up the complexities of their lives in ways that make them seem more exciting then they really are. No Big Issue can't be debated, solved and hugged out by Sally Fields and her cast of Every Great TV Actor of the Last Ten Years.
And the one thing I will be thankful for when original programming goes off the air:
- Family Guy finally going away. First off, I like you Family Guy. I think you've been damn funny. I also think a Star Wars tribute is lame. And it's not that I don't get the appeal of old guy child molester jokes-- I just don't think it's funny every single week. I've actually started thinking that since you've come back from the dead, you've been hell bent on seeing just how much your audience will stand, how far you can push the "envelope". But as I watched Peter Griffin appear as Mexican Mary Poppins, fall on Jane & Michael, killing them and then seeing Peter alternately slide the bloodied bodies under the bed and vomit-- for like, what was that, a minute? I realized I just don't care anymore.
P.S.- Still on hiatus, but figured I had to do something for Thanksgiving. Have a great one!
Labels: tv
