Someday, scholars will look back on the
TV Guide listings of the early 21st Century and come across something like this:
"This week, the children compete for the right to have more than one outhouse and will be divided into a caste system of unequal labor and wages."
or
"The children are tricked into believing that if they don't kill a chicken, they'll die. Then they battle it out for a chance to have a water supply that won't freeze up on them at night."
And when the scholars of the future read this, I pray they judge us harshly. There was a lot of speculation that
Kid Nation, CBS's experiment in child exploitation, wherein 40 kids live on their own with no parents, would devolve into a
Lord of the Flies-like world, but after watching the first two episodes, I'm certain these kids are going to make it through. Not because of any innate decency in children (children can be monsters after all), but because in this case, they've got a common enemy to rally against: namely, the producers of this disgusting show.
You see it when the Green team, led by 12 year old Laurel, from Massachusetts, fails to finish their task in the alloted time. By coming in last place they are consigned to be "laborers", the lowest of Kid Nation's contrived social classes, meaning they will be forced to clean the outhouses and do menial work. Because they failed to complete the task, they also keep the rest of the kids from getting a supply of fresh drinking water from dozens of freeze-proof pumps that are scattered throughout town. The host, Jonathan Karsh, shows them the pump with dramatic fanfare before informing them they'll have to do with the one freeze prone pump they have now. And what do the kids do? They rally around the teary-eyed Green Team, hugging them and making jokes about how they don't need the pumps anyway. It's one thing to make kids compete for fabulous prizes (hell, I loved
Double Dare), but only a sadist could enjoy watching kids compete for a reliable source of water.
Then there's 15 year old Greg, from Nevada, who is the show's oldest kid. He's made out to be the villain; a scheming sociopath who likes to kill animals. Only, in the background scenes, you see Greg time and again carrying some kid on his shoulders or giving them a hug and his expertise at skinning animals comes from working in a butcher shop. The producers want you to think this kid is only being nice because he wants a gold star-- which is awarded by the "town council" at the end of each episode and is worth $20k. Yeah, because if you're a kid who has to work in a butcher shop and is facing the direct prospect of having to pay for college or living on your own in 2-3 years, you're a monster for working hard and helping out a bunch of little kids to earn some money.
The people behind this show make Bill Murray in
Scrooged, yelling at an assistant to staple antlers on mice to make them look like reindeer, seem like a saint. The only people worse than the producers are the 40 sets of parents who willingly sent their children off to a labor camp.
The only pleasurable moments in the show is when you see the kids developing their own games and strategies-- a couple of girls start a daycare for the kids stuffed animals and a few boys go hunting for jackrabbits in the precocious way kids actually play. These are the sort of things children should be doing, not competing for sanitation.
Kid Nation isn't an experiment in how kids act, it's disgusting proof that grown-ups need to grow-up.
And no, I'm not watching any more of this show. Seeing kids cry isn't my idea of a good time.
Labels: tv
