As you may have guessed from my recent "Chance Meetings" post, I love
Craigslist's Missed Connections. They can be
funny,
scary and
poignant. But there's a certain kind of "missed connection" that makes me furious-- the scorned ex-boyfriend "blind item". I mean something like this:
I will miss you. But we're both looking for different things.
And timing is off for both of us.
I want and deserve the opportunity to have a full-time boyfriend with equal rules.
You are a great catch, but so am I.
your friend always
A.
I get how this could seem like a romantic gesture. I mean, the whole reason I read missed connections is for fun winsome sentimentality. I can see how it happens. You're up late one night and think- 'Hey, I'll write this really important message on Craigslist, because if it's meant to be, he'll read this, know that it's me and just like in
Serendipity, we'll wind up united by luck and kismet'. Well, that's just fucking stupid.
As a conceit for a romantic comedy, it's lazy, but in real life it's cowardice. If you have something to say to someone you ostensibly care about, you owe it to them to tell them. Posting it on Craigslist is just a way to make yourself feel better, because you get the feeling of being a great sensitive guy, but without any of the difficulty or responsibility of facing an actual living, breathing human being. It just seems to me that if you're going to take the time to articulate something about someone you care about, you ought to tell it to the person in question and face the consequences, one way or another. Don't miss out on real connection if you can help it.*
And to the guy I saw walking on Santa Monica with his boxer-- call me.
*And no, I don't have any personal missed connection story/ history. I'm just easily irritated.Labels: gay, los angeles
