Benefits of Having a Mysterious Illness
- Possibility of being first person with "Japhy Grant's Disease" high.
- Pleasurable poking and prodding factor.
- Growing list of horrible diseases I don't have.
- Let's See How My Body's Betraying Me! is popular pastime.
- Lost 8 pounds in 4 days. Beat that TrimSpa.
- Learning to appreciate how much fun swallowing whole foods really is.
- Doctor now has something interesting to talk about at country club.
- Night sweats or "water conservation self-showers": You decide.
- Big discount on professional mourning Catholic ladies to sit at my bedside wailing.
- Am changing Keanu Reeves' life forever.
