Look for the Crazy J Strike Brand

Written by
Japhy Grant

4.03.2006

The Modern Romantic is the New Perez

Not really. As many of you know, I have a long-standing beef with Perez Hilton, who I regrettably had a hand in creating. To prove however that it's not shitty celebrity gossip, but delusional insecure sell outs I abhor, here's my scoop. You sure as hell won't find this on Perez Hilton.com, but that's because he's too busy profiling profiles of himself on his blog.

WHITNEY HOUSTON'S SISTER-IN-LAW SELLS CRACK DEN PHOTOS TO THE ENQUIRER

Crack might be whack, but for Ms. H, it's also an interior decoration choice. The paper claims that "the singer is addicted to crack and spends her days locked in her filthy bedroom abusing drugs and pleasuring herself with sex toys" and that they plan on publishing a "photo of Houston's bathroom, complete with scattered empty beer bottles, rolling papers, pipes and powder-covered spoons and lighters" provided by Whitney's sister-in-law, Tina Brown. I don't know if this makes her a "whoreanus" in Perez's book or not, but I for one am hoping to see booty-bumping dildos in the shot.

Um. Snap...or something. God, this would drive me nuts if I did it every day.

Here's the link.

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